My life sacrified

My life sacrified



Chapter 1


You will be wrong if you do not believe that I changed since I met you. I can say to you at once that it is like night and day. Previously, I was really a silly girl completely stupid with false self-stuffiness and childish heedlessness . When I was eleven , I was taller than all the boys in my class, and more studious also ( I learned afterward that is a general principle of nature , even the animal female are as well) . When I had the physical changes of teenager; I took the things with wideness, even anyone did not tell me what and why they were so . It was only at the age of sixteen that I became equal , physically and mentally to boys in a different matters of studies except the math and some sport exercises, that is also natural in the human development . As a young woman , in the age of seventeen , I was convinced that it was time to find a man who would marry me, but here I was less comprehensive and skilful .

I dreamed as the most important number of teenagers to be appreciated, one day, by a magnificent man who comes to look for me and to give me his love; but in most of the similar cases in our world of weaker sex, this man cannot be always what we think about . In multiple cases , as others gills told me, he want to change the beloved young woman, in fact or in his imagination and his fantasies, into an attractive, removable, repairable, automated doll; then he takes the pleasure to enjoy himself and love her as well, in this ridiculous shape . I did not want to hear these rumours , Nevertheless I failed in my first practical tries with the men.

I have to say, as a matter of fact, that you seem different from the others in the reality, maybe even in your imagination. For me, I was able to discover in you, at first blush, by my own , the man who I believed capable actually to love me . Then I decided to love you because you are going surely to love me. I am there proud of me and I think I deserve of our love . Are you too ? I do not ask for an answer for the immediate. The future will confirm my peelings. Do not worry, thus, my darling.

Be quietly relaxed in your short stay in Lyon for the seminary. I hope that you are settled well in your hotel and that it pleases you well too .
too... I waits for you impatiently in a fortnight...

I did not send, in fact, this awkward and stupid letter to Charles, It will be ridiculous as well to definite his character for the little time I knew him ; I contented with phoning him in his) hotel dedicated in the pulpit of its rooms to receive the seminaries of international Conference on human rights in order to know in which precise date he returns to Paris.

He gave me the first day of the next month, for a rendez-vous to me.. We shall so have six last months since our first meeting.. Great!

I remember well this evening there, where we were in a restaurant in Monometer, two friends and a colleague to me at the secondary school where I work, to dinner on the occasion of my twenty-seventh birthday. Charles sat alone at a close table , just at a passage to go out or to go in toilet. Charles sat alone at a close table , just at a passage to go out or to go in toilet. In the middle of the dinner, I needed to redo my make-up, then I made excuses to my friends to go to washbasins during some minutes. My dress was hung on with the tablecloth of his table and all which was top was knocked down, the wine and the dish and the rest, without soiling nevertheless his dress . He got up immediately to seize my arm and prevent me from falling down .

Of my return, I saw on his table a new bottle of wine and an empty glass, waiting doubtless in the meantime, the waiter who fetched, I suppose, a new flat or a dessert. He threw me once again one so charming smile, what urged me automatically to ask to him to come to join us to our table. He said "with pleasure", and we sit, the one next to the other .

Having made the exchange of usual presentation, he did not hesitate to congratulate me for my birthday, while excusing for his indiscretion, because he included from some discussion spent before the incident, that was about a little feast between friends and it concerned me personally. I said I'm thankful , in a rather natural and smiling way. At this moment, he past discreetly his visit card where I was able to read the name "Charles Duval" without any mention of his address, but only the number of his mobile phone. I gave him, for my part, my number of telephone at home, orally, in a low voice.

At the end of the evening he suggested us going to take the liqueur in the same street corner by saying that it would be also sympatric that our restaurant and he added " to prolong the feast if it pleases you ".

We went together thus, and for this evening we became, both of us real friends, or rather two lovers..

We were happy all the time since the first day. Our meetings were
regular, twice a week, except the time of present conference, without
missing, without delay, without dispute . We told about our life before without reserve, even about our private affairs of heart . He had never been married ! He is forty five now, rather alluring than handsome , with brown eyes and dark eyebrows which give an aspect of some furtive sights. He speaks rarely about his original profession as a lawyer, and widely about his hobbies as a writer, an author of thrillers but he didn't give me one of his books, that will be done in the future. In his political preoccupation as an activist of human rights, he is entirely discreet. In brief: he is a perfect man.

However, we are not similar in all the domains. For example, from the point of view of private life of the couple, he is too much requiring for him and for me, whereas I, I am much less. He said to me, once, humbly and friendly, that I make the ethics prevail in the intimate relations ; but according to him, this has nothing to do with the reality of the world, when things should go according to the laws of nature and the normal functions of the body.

I understood that he considers me a passive woman , or even an ice-cold creature in a sense? That shocks me, because if it is true that I am poisoned since the adolescence by the reflex ions of some foolish girls, or certain religious notions on the reproduction and the task reserved for the women in the marriage and to content themselves with this duty, without aiming at other things, I several times want to have the carnal pleasure, but rarely . Contrary to me, Charles considers both things, sentimental and physical, inseparable; I prefer the affection and the tenderness, letting the pleasure take the second place in the life .

Amway, on his return, I'll endeavour with all my good willing to do something in this field. I don't want to loss him for a tiny affair like that .I 'all satisfy his rededications whenever he has envy. I should do it if really I can. It won't be the end of the world. I'll hear and obey only his words not those of the mad girls of adolescence or the fanatic religious .
Practising completely the femininity in all its dimensions, by wishing, or by force, is not illicit. What arrives in closed doors concern nobody, except us. I am neither a nasty whore, nor a dry woman of virtue.

The second point which irritates me and seems disturbing, is its mental and cultural capacities. He has never criticized me in an intellectual subject, even when I am wrong or I am ignorant there. His silence is worse than the word; because I feel more injured and humbled. Maybe we have the same understanding of things, but the precise seizure of the things and their dimensions is not in my capacity with the same degree. The problem there is insoluble, because it demands many years of
studies and researches.

Besides, he is always courteous in every conversation on his particular business, of literature or other intellectual domains. I asked him once if a writer like him is more expert than others in social questions , especially in his domain of poplars . He said ; " I don't write novels since many years '' I replied that a writer even he doesn't write now , is always a writer . People do not look at his past and at his other works. It will be sufficient with only one published work, to be an author. He did not say anything. In fact, he evaded deliberately my initial question!

Concerning his profession as a lawyer, he never pronounced a word about trials. This discretion is attached undoable to the professional duties . Perhaps when will be married he would be less strict . I am not sure . Anyway , this field is not very interesting for me .

For the rest , he is generous without flat , his nice-speaking is not excessive . His humour is measurable and adapted with circumstances. On this last point , we are almost similar .

Let us wait first of next month to see the things better and longer .


Chapter 2


He arrived in time at my apartment for our rendez-vous after the conference, but he seemed preoccupied and anxious, . He said just on his coming : " I am afraid, I can't stay too late, I have to meet somebody in the evening, for an important discussion concerning a trial which takes place tomorrow morning".

I had to accept sadly, because I was missing him , two long weeks which were for me an eternity . Our rendez-vous did not last hardly more than two ours. I was almost silent and I neglected to speak of whatever it is of most of the subjects which I wanted to discuss with him concerning particularly our future.

I asked him when we will meet again . He said " Not before ten days, I'll be very busy. I am sorry . Meanwhile I will phone you absolutely" .

I waited patiently his phone , but nothing arrived from him , even after the ten days promised.

The problem for me is that the only mean to contact him is the mobile . He did not give me an adress in Paris . I have never known a single name of his friends or his relatives . I confess that it was my own
fault . I had to be more prudent . Elas ! I didn't learn many things in the life .

Had he lie ? How could be then ?

Is he unfaithful ? Is he now with another woman? How can I take him back ? but, at first, how can I find him in a big town like Paris if I have not his adress ? I tried many times to contact him by the mobile , but in vain . He doesn't answer .

Is he alive ? Is he dead , or maybe sick yet ? Who knows? Oh ! I know the way ...What pity for me !!!

I called the Bar of Paris and said " Please give me the adress or the phone number of the cabinet in which the lowyer Mr. Charles Duval works", the voice answered me " I cannot give the adress by phone because of security restructions, but you can come and have an appointement with the reponsible in our locality to speak about what you want " , and I went immediately to this adress .

When I arrived I received the sad information that there is not a lowyer upon the register of the Bar in the name of " Charles Duval, but we shall asked the other bars to answer exactly to your question .

A week later I had a negative response . " There is no lowyer in France with the name of Charles Duval ".

I called the hotel in which Charles stayed once for the International conference of Human Rights, and have some informatins about the period of the conference . In fact the organiser of meeting was the french comity of Human Rights . I called immediately the comity in Paris to know if Mr. Charles Duval is a member of the assocation . I had the terrible answer that there is not a member whose name is Duval . Furthermore , they asked me if he is french or not . This question gave me the idea to search Duval in the franco- speaking associations . That demands many days but I should do .

Nothing in Belgium, nothing in Luxemburg, nothing in Switzerland
, nothing in the whole world .

There are also the publishers . I asked many of them and many of libreries , if the have ever heard about an author whose name is Charles Duval . Allways I do receive the same negative answer .

I waste time with all these useless searches. I have to become used now to live as a divorced woman, or as a widow...


Chapter 3


More than three months later, the telephone rang . It was a voice of a man I have never known him. He said briefly: " Charles is in under our hands, if you want to see him alive, you have to follow our instructions " and hung up, without waiting even for my answer...

Very worried and frightened, I called one of my best friends, Dalia, agent of insurance and she knows many people, to come immediately to see me . Besides, she was in the famous feast of birthday in Monmartre, so I can speak frankly with her about this incredible threat .

While Dalia was with me ; I received a new communication . The man said : "You must prepare 80000 euros in the coming twenty four hours if you want to see Charles freed. I warn you, if you say one single word to the police , Charles will dye. It will be your turn later " .

Dalia heard the communication and began to cry. I became immovable, dumb and completely ruined inside. How I may collect such a sum. . All that I have of sparing money is less than a half of the sum .. Dalia said : " I can help you for 10000 euros . For the rest we try to find a solution ... "

Early in the morning I phoned to my parents to ask them if they can give me some money without speaking about a precise sum and
without saying why . .

Actually she came in the evening with exacly the sum required . Incredible thing and a great evidence of friendship . Of course, I will spend the whole of my life to pay what I borrowed .

The voice called me again late in the evening and asked if the sum is now with me . Then , the voice said :" Put the money in a brief-case and go out in the street with your mobile in the hand and continue to walk on your left until I call you" . I had to obey at once .

The street was dark and deserted . I walked on the left and crossed another street but always on the left . Suddenly the voice said : There is a cinema in the corner. You buy a ticket and you enter into the middle of the salle . There you take place and stay for exactly ten minutes ; then you let the brief-case and go out . So,you will find Charles at you to morrow morning" . I wanted to say something in order to be sure of exactitude of his planning, but he hung up .

I did exactly what he orded me to do . The cinema was half empty and I remarked nothing around me . I let the big sum on the chair and came back home sick and worried .

Charles came later than it was promised . He was tired with blue on eyes and front . I cried and asked him when he was freed and how he spent the time of kidnapping , he said : " All what happened was awful indeed, but I beg you not to require all the details . That is in order to preserve our security. Let us speak about anything but not about the last event "

We passed the most beautiful night in our life . When I waked up he was yet gone .

I went to the secondary school with a new character, happy and confident, but In the evening I received the most horrible communication which I have never had since the kidnapping of Charles. . The voice of the unknown man is reappeared . He said : " Have you found your lover ? . As for me, I am not like you in no way, because all this story is made by both of us, Charles and I. Now, the man whose name is completely invented was my partner in the kidnapping. I
organized all the operation and he executed all that I said to him...
; but yesterday he went with th money without let the half of sum as it was concluded between us . He is a swindler , a big thief . I will kill him whe I find him " ...

I did not understand the rest of the communication. I think that I lost all the capacity to listen to or to utter a word. When I returned to the life, I phoned Dalia.

This intelligent girl has the perfect quality to calm me in the difficulties of the life. She said:

" Be quiet and let us think about the problem with a profound and
effective way, not in crying and wiping . Charles is not undoubtly his real name ; neither the family name which he borrowed from a famous name of family bourgeoise well kown in the french history , particularly in Rennes . He met you and found after some weeks that you you have affection for him . He told his friend about you . Then the accomplice had to imagine quite one a sénario to exercise a false kidnapping to exploit your relation with him and translate it into a source of funds for both of them. .

So the ransom had to be divided in two equal parts, fifty- fifty, but Charles considered that he deserves only the sum for him and he disappeared with the money. If he came to see you, it is only to finish the realization of this put-up job. I think that he will not return to meet you once again . It was indeed a terrible cauchemare. Regrettably, there are besides the debts which you have to pay during a long long period of time. To my opinion we have to go to the police and say everything since the beginning. What do you think?

" I don't want to see him dead, because if the other man knows that the police is upon the field , he will kill Charles, and I am sur he will", I said .

Dalia became red and very angry . She said ; " You are crazy . You continue to love him, whatever he did , even after he stole your money and the money of your friends and the other persons also, you must be a little bit wise and correct with yourself and with the others"

I insisted: " yes. I cannot cause him any damage by his riva
l, nor denounce him to the police and make him undergo some punishment. My heart does not want, I am sorry " and I cried widely.

She said: " I shall make it in spite of your refusal. I have to make something in the name of our friendship ".

I replied : " and I ask you in the name of friendship not to do it " .

Our conversation is ended like that. Dalia is brought in at her with a big regret that a girl so mad as I can behave so..











Chapter 4


I paid off for relatively a brief delay the sum that I borrowed from Dalia. Our relation became nevertheless weak and suspicious because of my errors committed to her in the progress of the events concerning Charles's problem.

In fact I became stronger and more aggressive than in the past to everybody. So, the rival of Charles stopped disturbing me. When he said: " I know that he will return to see you. Then be sure that I take my vengeance against both of you and I shall have entirely my money.] " I replied : " Listen to me . I have never seen him since more than year and I know that you are observing me everyday at my home and in the street. If Charles were coming back You should be the first who knows . Besides , You have not any money to require . This money is mine, not yours. You know well that I can ask for the protection of the police and you go to be attached to the hands, accused and condemned, earlier or later, then you will be imprisoned for the rest of your life . Do you want that indeed ? " and he never phoned after this threating .

Many years are spent since I saw Charles after his return and the long night of happiness which I had with him, in my big satisfaction and my big pleasure. I cannot forget him and if he comes back one day , I will forgive him . .

I could pay off a big part of the borrowed sums. Only I regret that
I lost because of this matter the most faithful of my friends, Dalia.


Once this year, by returning at home, she perceived me, by surprise, walking on the opposite pavement. She stopped and crossed the street to look for me there where I was. Then she approached slowly to me with a wide smile. I took her in my arms and cried. Then we went to have a drink in the corner. She was magnificent and very pleasant during our conversation.

Then she said with a reserved sight: " I want to say to you something on Charles. Do you allow me that I say ? But she did not wait for my answer and said : " the police of Luxemburg announced the arrest of a member of a criminal band searched by Interpole and by many authrities in Europe. Newspapers published afterward a photo of the thief. The man in the photo seems to have about fifty of age, with big mustaches and a thickens beard. I realized that it was the image of Charles in spite of his changes of aspect of his face . I said to myself: he is Charles doubtless, but his name appeared in the newspaper is siverro Paul, I suppose that it is its real name. The commit magistrate asked for witnesses and said that any information will help us to find the stolen sums and to prove the liable to penal risponsability of offender .

I said nothing , but the next day I took the train to Luxembourg . .I searched the justice administration and found not very hardly the bureau of the commit magistrate . He said to me that an exam view of verification is nessessary and I must confront the offender . . I accepted if this process would be the most discreet possible.

In the afternoon the confrontation was terrible: there were five or six persons and I had to say who is the man whom I accuse .I ought to see the one after the other and stop a little to look at everyone , then make some distance to determine in a complete discretion the one that I denounce. It was a hard and difficult experiment the moment when I stopped in front of Charles : he looked at me fixedly with his charming eyes as in our first meeting. My heart beat strongly and I thought that my legs could not support me . I retook the force and continue the turn of observation of the next offenders , but in a ridiculous awkwardness.

The policeman who accompanied me in the confrontation, asked me
very slightly: " did you recognize anybody? " I said "No one" and I returned to Paris.

In the train I thought of all which reached me during the last five or six years, and also in all which will arrive in the next years with the
sadness and the regret which I shall have in my heart, while Charles spend his imprisonment for at least ten or fifteen years .

I cursed myself for being such a crazy girl, but my love for him defeated me , and even my life is definitvely sacrified for him , I continue to love him .....

When will I be cured of what I have been ?

Ever I think .


The end